Lady Gaga ~ Born This Way

Hurtling towards us for weeks now, like some era-defining neon comet covered in dildos and crucifixes, comes Lady Gaga's second/third album, and unless you are somehow blessed with being able to avoid such things, you'll probably have heard about it. From a PR perspective, it's quite simply genius, and as a military-like carpet-bombing operation in exclamatory super-hype, it's entirely successful. But what about the music?

Now before I get into detail I am fully aware that this is a pointless folly; Like trying to make water run up hill, critiquing lady gaga from an objective standpoint based on musical and lyrical analysis, is an entirely vain task. Millions of people across the world have near death experiences every time she changes her tampon, and now amount of backlash or bad reviews will change this.

Also, I will point out that, while I am not quite a fan of hers, I do enjoy her music. Her glastonbury performance in 2009 was pretty amazing, as are many of her shows, and she does often make some bloody good pop music (although maybe in danger of being too catchy, I've had the chorus from Judas stuck in my head for about three weeks now and have considered therapy...)

However, unless you are a hardcore follower (I think the correct term is 'muggle' or something) this album is often going to disappoint (or more likely, annoy).

The first thing you will notice on your virgin listening experience are the beats. Gaga herself promised "sledgehammer" beats throughout and that, with one or two exceptions (the dark and wonkily brilliant 'Bloody Mary' being one), is exactly what she has delivered; An entire album of almost exactly the same rhythms, thudding aggressively across the surface of the world, smothering everything in their path in an unstoppable assault against subtlety of any kind. By the time you've reached the end you will feel as if you have literally been sledge hammered... in your temples... It hurts.

Then there is the vocal processing, Gaga's pitch is altered so much it sounds like several different singers have been drafted in to finish the songs off. Whatever happened to the raw sound of the human voice? The lyrics also grate regularly, a combination of ill-fitted phrasing that doesn't match the melodies, and a sort of rushed earnestness (resulting in racial slurs on the title track) that goes to show writing songs in 15 minutes (as she has boasted) probably isn't the best way to go about crafting 'the album of the decade' (again I am using her own words)

I could go on listing things that annoyed me about it but I won't, because there are a lot of good things to be enjoyed here too. Behind all the garish attention seeking and gratuitous shrieking, there is a great pop album lurking to be hummed along to. It's just a shame that it's all trying so hard to be something greater.

Does Lady Gaga genuinely believe her own hype? Or is it all yet more genius marketing from the Haus of Gaga? Whatever it is, it's working, because this album is being lapped up by the billions worldwide as some kind of religious text, despite being no better or worse than Britney's album that came out a month ago. OK, maybe that's a little harsh, Born This Way does address some genuinely valid and important concerns (such as gay rights and violence towards Mexican immigrants in Texas), albeit it in the cheesiest and often most patronising way imaginable. But perhaps, in this age of superficial mediocrity, celebrity worship, and total numbing idiocy in the music industry, the only way to get a decent message across to a lot of people is to do it with a deafening 4-4 euro-disco beat and some tacky outfits?

There are moments of glory here as well as misfires, for example, Gaga sounds like the Edith Piaf of the balearics on the theatrical and storming Americano and the kraut-techno-lite of SheiBe is hard not to enjoy.

After all of my criticisms the album has improved on repeated listens, a lot of the tracks need time to show themselves for what they are, which is buried under ten tonnes of over produced glare, making it hard to actually hear what's going on (this is something you can see from the many superior cover versions of her songs so many bands have done on youtube, like the brilliant Pomplamouse rendition of Telephone for example, which stripped away the squelching blaring synths to reveal the melodies underneath).

All in all then, it could just do with some fine tuning, the result of someone being so famous and powerful that no one in their creative team dare suggest that something might not work, which would probably explain why the cover is so unbelievably shite.

This leaves me in a conundrum, because I can't decide if Lady Gaga is a genius or not... The album certainly isn't, that's for sure. But she very could be. It will be interesting to hear what more she has to bring us, if as she gets older she mellows out just little bit and stops filling her music with MSG.

EDITED TO ADD: It's been out for a while now, has my opinion changed. Yes, but it's changed twice. Initially it grew on me loads until i conceded defeat and decided I loved it, having insatiable urges to listen to certain tracks very often. Then however, it fizzled out and I haven't listened to any of it for a whole month now really. Hmmm?