Yes it's that time again, in absence of any real motivation to write or produce something good, I'm just gonna slate some shit music, amongst other things...
LABRINTH ft. TINIE TEMPAH - EARTHQUAKE
Well it's not all negative, this new one from Labrinth is pretty amazing and further proof that he is the one good thing to come of Simon Cowell's SyCo company. The production is suitably big and club filling with delicious curved basslines and thuddering beats. We could discuss for hours about the commercialisation of dubstep, and while I do agree with James Blake's recent comments that popular dubstep is becoming nothing more than a pissing competition, sometimes it's alright to enjoy pop music's flirtations with the underground.
However, a couple of things let this down somewhat. First off, Lanrinth shouts out Mr. Cowell and his empire at one point. Just not cool. And secondly, Tinie Tempah's rap is some of the most shockingly arbitrary nonsense to come from someone who is actually talented and can do much better lyrically. Boasting about one night stands... really?
CHER LLOYD - WITH UR LOVE ft. MIKE POSNER
Gaining dozens of extra brownie points for merely being less offensive than the truly awful Swagger Jagger this is actually an enjoyable pop jaunt from the divisive young pop sprog. But this is faint praise. And then, as above, and with most current chart outings, the whole thing is ruined by some dire middle eight guest appearance by some smug and chinny douchebag.
WILL YOUNG - COME ON
Will Young continues excelling at producing understated pop music with slick glossy videos. It's nothing hugely special but there's something about Will Young that deserves respect, not least the fact that he's one of the very few people who had survived the nightmare of reality talent shows and carved out a decent career.
JLS - TAKE A CHANCE ON ME
When they start their video miming piano chords in a lift you know there's something horribly wrong. JLS decide to go a bit soppier and ballady, after all, it's getting cold isn't it? They also perform on a rooftop to show how much they care. (Boyband cliches No.553 and No.551)
JUSTIN BIEBER - MISTLETOE
What makes you think of christmas? Is it the holy Christian saviour Jesus Christ? the giving and receiving of gifts from loved ones? Peace on earth and good will towards men? A few days off work and great telly?
Or is it the scarily androgynous visage of an ever more pubescent Justin Bieber, sappily harkening unto you through fake snow over a backing track that is basically an instrumental of acoustic backpacker anthem I'm Yours by Jason Mraz? If the latter is the answer then perhaps it's time to convert to Islam.
LOWKEY - HAND ON YOUR GUN
It's not all bad news though folks, some people are still making good music! Hurray!
Here we see the enigmatic rapper Lowkey unload a tirade of vitriol against some of the most corrupt and evil corporations in our society. The message is loud and clear, our hard earnt and easily spent money, as well as much of our taxes, are being spent on weapons and murder throughout the world. The video even features the devastating image of one of the many Iraqi children born with hideous deformaties as a result of depleted uranium bombing.
This sort of thing is usually very underground, restricted to activists circles and rarely heard in the charts. But at a time when being politically minded and aware of the injustice in the world is, globally, becoming very popular amongst youth, this song, and the album it was taken from, Soundtrack to the Struggle, was propelled into the top ten, outselling the likes of Rihanna and David Guetta on downloads only. The people have spoken! He's the Malcolm X of UK Hiphop.
